留学生Essay写作心得

　　众所周知，留学申请最艰巨的事情是写文书，不仅要写PS(个人陈述)，还要写各个学校自己出题的文章，也就是所谓的Essay。

　　Essay的内容因校而异，大多是让你谈对自己的认识、对学校的认识，或者是对某个特定问题的认识。篇幅也各有要求，有的只要求写一篇，但一篇要求几百字;有的则要求写两篇甚至三篇，但每篇不一定很长。也有很变态的，像李鲁准备申请的布朗大学，要求写八篇Essay，他一看就吓着了，直接把布朗拉黑。后来其他学校的材料都准备得差不多了，他还有一点富裕的时间，想起来再看一眼布朗，才发现每篇Essay只要求一百多字，其实就是问卷式的，提了一些问题，每个问题让你写一段，也不难。他松了一口气，又把布朗拉回来，顺便给申请了。当然，最终还是被拒掉。

　　如果说PS的重点在于介绍自己，那么Essay的重点就在于认识学校，这两个东西结合起来，就回答了“我是谁”和“你是谁”，并最终回答了“我们是否匹配”这样一个问题。

　　由于一篇PS是写给所有学校看的，所以你不能过于有针对性，不能因为想讨好某人而得罪其他人，最好的办法就是真实地呈现，把最本质最独特的自己摆出来。

　　而Essay则是专门针对你所申请的某一个具体学校的。既然你想要去这个学校，那么你了解这个学校吗?对方想要知道你对学校的看法，或者你对学校感兴趣的一些问题的看法，他好从中衡量彼此的匹配度。所以写Essay一定是具体的，虽然主要篇幅在写自己，但着眼点是在对方，必须回答对方提出的具体问题。

　　中国的学校不太重视写作，但要出国读书，你就会知道，写作能力真是至关重大。李鲁的写作能力我们是不担心的，而且，所有申请文书都必须用英文完成，我们也帮不上什么忙。再说，真正到了写Essay那个阶段，他已经忙到连话都顾不上说了，我们也只知道他在忙，不知道在忙什么。一切都只能靠他自己，不打扰就是最好的支持。

　　有时候真心觉得父母弱一点也是好事，把自己的空间缩小，留给孩子的空间就更大，他就有了更多的自由和更强的翅膀。

　　李鲁就是在如此的状态下完成了所有的Essay，也没有让我们过目一下。事实上，因为每个学生都要申请许多所学校，每个学校又都要写文章，而且由于计划申请的学校往往会因成绩的变动而临时调整，说不定申请截止日的头天晚上还会增加新学校，又得写文章。如此多的文章，如此快的节奏，即使学校的老师也看不过来(付费的VIP服务除外)，真正DIY申请的学生都只能靠自己，老师最多可以给你改几个错别字。

　　这是DIY申请的难处，但也是DIY申请的优势，只有DIY你才可以完全由自己掌握，完全自由地调整，随时进入状态。而找中介，虽然有人帮你改文章，甚至帮你写文章，但申请哪几所学校都是事先定好了的，文章也事先写就，并不能轻易变动，中介不可能因为你的心血来潮而打乱计划，说到底，这些都是有成本的。

　　但事实上，心血来潮就是激情迸发，说不定就有意想不到的结果。李鲁就是在申请截止前的最后两天心血来潮，临时决定申请布兰迪斯大学，结果，布兰迪斯大学录取了他，还是他收到的第一份offer!

　　附：李鲁的Essay

　　波士顿学院Essay

　　1. St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, encouraged his followers to live their lives in the service of others. How do you plan to serve others in your future endeavors?

　　Cities are built with concrete and steel, and people there are indifferent and alienated. This frozen atmosphere had surrounded me for long, until on this year’s Christmas when I went to a village founded by a missionary did I observe a scenery completely different from those of the city.

　　Having known that the village has a religious background, which is rare in China, I expected that there would be Christmas celebrations. Therefore I went to the church in the center of the village. The church is different from what I thought a church should look like——painted ceilings, colorful glass, giant sculptures——actually it was just an ordinary room with some desks and chairs, and some paintings of Jesus and the Madonna. However, the church was crowded with pious villagers; there was a Holy Bible nearly in everyone’s hands, and children were dressed like nuns, all singing.

　　Honestly, I know nearly nothing about the affairs of church and the religion, but I was really astonished when I saw people blessing and praying for each other, holding arm-in-arm with happiness on their faces, like families. By comparison, in the city, people who live in the same apartment hardly meet with each other even on holiday, nor do they say “hello” as they pass each other on their daily routine.

　　People’s behavior is led by their consciousness. People in that village are kind and genial because they all share a religious belief; however, I hope that one day people in the city could break the wall of isolation because they all share a human virtue to help and communicate with others.

　　Society is a cycle, where everything people do will eventually flow back to themselves. But this mutually beneficial process starts only when the there is one to start the task. As one of the new generation, it is my desire to be the pioneer to disseminate this ideology by actively communicating with people, offering them help if they need, to help create a harmonious society.

　　Although my own power is limited, as long as the idea is put into action, more and more people will join to form a considerable force. In such a process, I will apply my self-worth by helping people realize their role in society, and also by devoting myself to benefiting the world. This endeavor is a lifelong task and duty I will pursue for a brighter future.

　　译文：

　　如今的城市都由钢筋和水泥建成，生活在其中的人们也愈发变得人情冷漠，彼此疏离。这种令人心寒的气氛一直笼罩着我，直到今年的圣诞节，当我去到一个由传教士建立的村子，我才看到了一幅和城市完全不同的景象。

　　提前得知这个村子有宗教背景——因为这在中国十分罕见——我很期待那里会有一个圣诞节的庆典活动，于是我便走进了位于村子中心的教堂。那个教堂与我印象中教堂应有的模样相差甚远，没有画满壁画的天花板，没有五色的玻璃，更没有精致的雕像，事实上那就是一个普通的屋子，里面有一些桌椅，还有耶稣和圣母的画像。然而就在那样一个屋子里，坐满了虔诚的村民，他们每个人手边都有一本《圣经》，孩子们都穿得像修女一样，一起唱着歌。

　　实际上我对宗教和教堂里的事宜了解甚少，但是当我看到人们为彼此祝福、祈祷，手挽着手脸上洋溢着幸福，简直就像一家人的情景时，我着实震惊了。我又不禁联想到了我生活的地方——城市，相比之下，即使是在圣诞节这样盛大的节日，住在一栋公寓里的人们也不曾像这样聚集在一起，彼此之间都觉得陌生，甚至平时在街上遇见对方都不会打招呼。

　　人们的行为是由意识决定的。生活在村子里的人们善良、平易近人，是因为他们有共同的宗教信仰。我希望，有一天生活在城市里的人们也能意识到人类的美德，更多地彼此交流，帮助他人，从而打破那把人和人隔离开的高墙。

　　社会是一个循环，人们所做事情造成的结果最终都会回到自己身上。然而只有当一些人开始为其他人奉献时，一个人们互相都能受益的良性循环才会开始。作为新生代的一员，我渴望通过积极的交流和给人们提供帮助把这种理念传播出去，成为这方面的先行者，从而促成一个和谐的社会。

　　即便我个人的力量很渺小，但只要把这种理念付诸实践，就会有越来越多的人参与进来，形成一股强大的力量。在这个过程中，我会通过帮助人们意识到他们在社会中起到的作用来实现我的个人价值，同时致力于造福这个世界。这将成为我一生的责任和努力的目标，为我带来一个光明的未来。

　　(李鲁/译)

　　乔治·华盛顿大学Essay

　　George Washington University’s commitment and tradition of supporting its students and faculty to enact positive change in the world excites me most. I have been greatly affected and motivated by the socioeconomic disparities present in our world today. As a life-long resident of the megacity of Beijing, I have grown up side-by-side with this growing inequality. As I have matured and focused on my future, I have realized how anesthetized my contemporaries and I have become to the harsh reality that many communities face due to the arbitrary and unjust allocation of resources.

　　A response to this seemingly intractable problem requires not only the knowledge and tools that a GW education and community provides, but also a political response that, again, GW is uniquely situated to facilitate. Due to its history of excellence, tradition of political engagement, and global presence, GW has attracted a diverse and rich student body. From this diversity of perspectives comes strength, by providing a dynamic atmosphere where ideas, theories, and solutions to global problems are tested and challenged. The greater community of Washington allows for GW’s frequent contribution to government and attracts many political makers and business leaders to share their experiences and stories, thus creating numerous opportunities for students, and it excites me to join this community.

　　The Study Abroad program, also provides the opportunity to go beyond the immediate borders of campus, exploring career goals and widening the possibilities for articulating solutions to global problems. One such opportunity that excites me about joining the GW community is its China Policy Program. This program focuses on improving the communication and sharing of ideas between Chinese policy-makers and the GW community. Living in Beijing, I have observed that the communication between China and organizations of foreign countries and NGOs have increased sharply in my lifetime. For example, President Steven Knapp’s visit to Beijing Normal University exemplifies GW’s commitment to the exchange of ideas and the strengthening of bonds between universities in order to create productive dialogue and influence productive solutions to shared problems. Because of these connections that GW is building between countries through its Study Abroad and other international programs, there is a better space for novel and unique approaches to solving our shared problems. The potential to join such a community and engage in cross-cultural dialogue to address the issue of socioeconomic disparity both locally and globally excites me.

　　“We help bridge cultures, deepen understanding, and connect the university community to the world beyond our campus”. This focus from GW on international exchange acknowledges a responsibility not only to better our local communities, but to strive to find solutions for our global problems. It is my desire to join this community and continue my passion in developing meaningful responses to the inequality that is present in our world. I am excited to have the opportunity to engage in an international framework, informed by a multitude of unique cultural perspectives, in order to achieve positive political action towards a more just and equitable future.

　　译文：

　　乔治·华盛顿大学对于支持学生和员工积极改变世界的传统和承诺是最让我感到兴奋的。一直以来，我都感受到了如今社会中经济和文化上的差异，这种现象也一直推动着我。生活在北京这个大都市很多年，我无疑见证了这些现象愈演愈烈。当我逐渐成熟并开始关注我的未来时，我意识到和我同时代的人们是如此的麻痹，也逐渐看清了社会上一些群体因为资源的不合理分配而遭受到的残酷现实。

　　想解决这个棘手的问题不仅仅需要乔治·华盛顿大学提供的知识和工具，更需要一种政治角度的解析——这正是这所学校的特殊地理位置所能提供的。考虑到它长久以来卓越的历史，致力于政治方面的传统，以及在全球的地位，乔治·华盛顿大学吸引了丰富多样的学生群体，并从这样的群体中孕育出一种力量，使得整个环境变得有活力，让想法、理论、方案相互碰撞，以至于可以接受那些全球问题的检测和考验。而因为坐落在华盛顿，这所大学能够经常给政府做出贡献，并且吸引很多政界领袖和商业精英来分享他们的经验，由此给学生们提供大量的机会，这也正是为什么我为能够进入这所学校感到兴奋的原因。

　　学校的海外学习项目给学生提供了走出校园的机会，还使得他们能够发现自己的职业目标，更增大了他们能够解决全球问题的可能。其中一个使我很感兴趣的就是中国政策项目。这个项目意在推动中国政界人士和乔治·华盛顿大学之间的交流。生活在北京，我看到了很多中国与外国组织至今的交流合作，比如校长Steven Knapp对中国人民大学的访问，这体现了乔治·华盛顿大学希望能和中国人民大学交流理念并加强两所学校之间联系的决心，以创造双方的对话机会从而本质上解决共同面对的问题。正是因为乔治·华盛顿大学通过其海外学习以及其他的国际项目建立了它与其他国家的联系，才会产生出如此之多新颖而又独特的方法来解决我们共同面对的问题。能够加入这样一个群体，致力于促进不同文化间的对话，从而解决地区和全球性的经济社会问题上的不平等，这也很大程度上吸引了我。

　　“我们在文化之间搭起桥梁，加深理解，冲出校园，在世界和大学之间建立起联系。”乔治·华盛顿大学对于国际交流的关注不仅造福了当地的人们，还为很多困扰全世界的问题找到了答案。我非常渴望能进入这所学校，面对全球问题，给出有意义的解答。我也很兴奋能有机会致力于研究国际关系的框架，同时感受独特的文化的相互碰撞，从而在政治方面做出一些正向的行动，创造一个更加公正且平等的未来。

　　(文章选自《三年能走多远——我这样把平凡孩子送进世界名校》，鲁稚著，电子工业出版社出版)